Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Service at New Orleans had to be one of the greatest experiences ever. A couple of days before the day of the trip I was second guessing it and leaning toward not going at all. Thank God that I stuck with my decision on going. Besides the obvious of being in a new place and meeting new faces, within the group and locals of New Orleans, in a way I had a "life changing experience." I complaint, and many others complaint, about the smallest issues possible, but we don't notice just what type of issues other people have. Any sort of issue that I'm going through is nothing compared to locals in New Orleans, who are still living without a home. In a way you have to be there to feel this way. I say this, because before I left I knew New Orleans was still not what it was before Katrina hit. It's been...tbc...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Year, Same Story.
To be honest I didn't want to spend this New Years alone.
Don't get me wrong people, I do spend it with the people I love most, my family.
But even while being there and celebrating the coming of a new year there's something missing.
And apparently there will always be something missing.
Sadly to say this New year isn't going to be all that amazing for me.
As I soak my face with different types of liquor and "try" to get things off my mind, someone will still cross my head that will feel like a dagger to my heart.
As if someone is just taking it and squeezing it beat by beat.
There's nothing you can do, but walk around with a smile telling everyone that you're fine.
That you're having a blast and that you are having an amazing time.
But deep down inside you know that it's just a shield that you put up, that you build, to block the true feelings that are running through you.
So as another year roles around I'm left with unanswered questions.
Thoughts of "what if", "what could've", "what should've."
But I guess I have to say that was 2009.
2010...well I don't know what it has in store for me.
A few trips planned, but nothing special, at least not anymore.
I have something to look forward to in 2010.
I graduate in May! I still find it shocking just how fast my college years went by.
Trying to get my career started is another adventure which awaits me.
So for all those out there...Enjoy this New Years.
Your never know how another year will end, until the time comes.
Spend it with your loved ones. Celebrate with them because they're the ones that guide you through the tough patches in your life.
In a way they're there to heal your wounds, and they will always be there.
So for this New Years I plan on not going crazy, but appreciating what I have in front of me.
Knowing that they were there for another year and that's something that will never change.
Friends come and go, all the time. But Family is there to stay.
The Love never fades away it just dims at its weakest moments but gets brighter at its strongest.
2010 Happy New Years.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
I officially hate this time of the year.
Who spends Christmas eve alone?
I do. My family is out, but I decided to just stay home watching youtube videos.
I guess I'm not cut out for the Holidays like I thought I was.
The whole preparing the ultimate gift for a person.
For the last couple of days I've seen people shopping for their loved ones and friends, so they won't ever be lonely again.
That's what I see from many faces, but than again there are others that have no one to shop for.
Or others that just buy gifts because of the day. They make it seem like a job instead of something coming from the heart.
It is the holidays so past all this negativity, I am glad I still have the family that has picked me up after all my battles.
The family that won't ever desert me.
The family that protects me.
The family that cares.
The family that loves.
The family that will be there for me, forever.
Thank you oh so very much.
Merry Christmas to all. I hope everyone gets what they are looking for.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
If you love something let it go. If it comes back it is yours, if it doesn't it never was.
You know you love someone when you want that person to be happy, even if that means you not being a part of their happiness.
Love can make you happy but at times it hurts, but it's special when you give it to the one that deserves it.
One of the most painful things is to see the one you love unhappy with you.
The toughest part of loving someone is knowing when to say goodbye.
No pleasure, no expressions just an illusion of what should've but wasn't.
We often say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to.
That doesn't mean that we've stopped loving and caring for the person.
Sometimes goodbye is just a painful way of saying I love you.The heart does heal and you will love like this again, only when you do, you will deny you ever felt this way before.
You have to forgive to forget, and forget to feel again.
So why am I still afraid to lose you when you're not even mine.
They say love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes just be an illusion.
The day you finally decide to love me will be the day after I had decided to stop chasing you.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
My supervisor is such a bitch. He clearly time after time told me to buy black slacks, that as long as I have black slacks I can wear sneakers or whatever. I've been wearing sneakers for 4 different home games, but the damn team coach has to bitch about my sneakers. All my supervisor does is chuckle awkwardly as the coach bitches about my sneakers (the Venoms if anyone cared). I'm pissed because he didn't have the balls to even say that he allowed me to wear sneakers. When the coach leaves he tells me, "I guess no more sneakers?" I just walked away. What a vagina!